Happy Cat Stories #1

Happy Cat Stories #1

This is a happy cat story

I have many more!

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How to be an adult

It’s my right

It’s my right

When you have a bad day

Sometimes all you have is the satisfying ‘ding’ of pulling that yellow cord

So think before you errantly tug

Maybe someone really wanted to pull the cord

Maybe more than you

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What do you think about on an idle afternoon

What do you think about on an idle afternoon

When there is nothing about

The mind can wander

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No one tries a rissoto… And lives!

No one tries a rissoto… And lives!

It’s always nice to root for the cocky person to get kicked off the show

But recall the time you burnt the soup and tried to make it into a stew

But it tasted like a burnt shoe

But you ate it anyways as a reminder to yourself to not leave the stove on high then go watch TV

Just me then.

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No, Boris. Part 2.

No, Boris. Part 2.

My teeth are excellent

My dentists tell me so

But that toothpaste

Like brushing your teeth with a salt lick

And everyone knows that salt licks are only good for farm animals

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No, Boris. Part 1.

Tune in next time for the exciting conclusion of this true story

Except for Boris

That’s not even his real name

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The Continuing Adventures of Judge Sidon

The Continuing Adventures of Judge Sidon

I freely admit that I know nothing about courts

Also, I was going to have the guy beat up the woman, but it was only kind of offensive this way rather than mostly offensive

Double standards are fun!

Also if you’re offended, please play mario kart with a significant other for a protracted period of time

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The price is wrong, Bitch

The price is wrong, Bitch

Never underestimate the pull of an exciting pricing game

Especially when the objects are mundane

Because that moron should know

Why is he even there if he doesn’t know the price of carrots

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Don’t forget your towel

Some encouragement to the new first years

Remember that what you become is a result of what you do

The friendships you forge will serve you for a lifetime

And the spicy chicken wraps at V1 will destroy your colon

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